What is THE PLAN and why does End of Life Planning Matter?
As you may know by now, I’m pretty passionate about end of life planning. Some people view thinking of death as morbid. However, none of us are getting out of here alive. Plus, thinking about death, and getting our affairs in order, isn’t going to make our death happen any quicker - it just means that we might be a little bit more prepared for when the time finally comes.
In 2012, my mum died. It may sound harsh to some, but part of me was relieved… because the weeks leading up to that had been nothing short of traumatic.
I knew my mum had been receiving treatment for cancer but when I saw her that Summer, I was told that things were going well. She was terminal, but there was no reason why she couldn’t live another twenty years.
A few weeks later, my step dad called to say that she had six weeks to live and he needed to get her back to the UK (she lived in Cyprus). What followed was a shambles of unbelievable events that thankfully resulted in her having a peaceful death.
I was told that my mum didn’t know she was dying. So it wasn’t really talked about, and I wasn’t given any room to deal with what was happening. Obviously, my mum wasn’t stupid and there were moments where we could have frank conversations - but not many!
After she died it was similarly shambolic - I had no idea what she wanted for her funeral but felt that it was largely down to me to decide. The whole thing was even more upsetting because nobody was Radically Responsible. Nobody faced the facts head on.
Now, I get it… what my mum was going through was awful and it was awful for my step dad too. I understand that. But keeping silent and avoiding the issue didn’t change anything - it just made things worse.
This is why I feel so passionate about people being Radically Responsible. Taking charge of their situation by thinking about this kind of thing before it’s too late. Before the reality hits you like a ton of bricks.
If you’ve talked about it beforehand, maybe it’ll be just a tiny bit easier to talk about again. Or if you’ve at least written some stuff down, you’re saving someone else the heartbreak of guesswork. You're stopping people from having to walk on eggshells and allowing them to process their grief without being bogged down in decision making. More time for connection, more time to make the most of the limited time that's left.
I created THE PLAN to help people approach these conversations gently, practically and honestly - with themselves first and then with their loved ones.
For me, thinking about this kind of stuff now has helped me shape a more conscious existence - it’s helped me to get aligned with my values and to start to move towards living the life I want to live RIGHT NOW, while I still can.
I don’t want to look back on my life with regrets - THE PLAN isn’t just a place to record the practical information that your loved ones will need in the event of your death, it’s also an excellent opportunity to do a life audit and to highlight changes you want to make moving forwards.
THE PLAN covers personal information, day to day details of your life, digital legacies, advance decisions, Lasting Power of Attorneys, wills, personal legacies, funeral wishes, spiritual and emotional preparation for the end of life and much much more. There are sections that provide information, sections that invite reflection and hints and tips of things you can do now that can make things easier in the long run - it’s a mammoth manual of things to consider, take care of and talk to your loved ones about.
You can get your copy here or hit replay to ask me any questions - I’m happy to help if I can 💜